"H" wants To Learn English

new address is : http://hengameh.wordpress.com but i should write my new posts after my exam :)

my new weblog is: www.hengameh.wordpress.com to be honest with you i have many problem with this site:( so i have decided to change my address:) see you

Today at 11 a.m I had an appointment for my speaking test. When I went out the room I felt that: God, It was really good I will get a good score; But now, I feel that I didn't answer well and I had to tell better. When I was there I just was speaking without any attention to the words, the grammar, and my ideas. I was just speaking all the time. My hand was shaking and the examiner saw that, I really didn't like that, All the time I was smiling without any reason. I think I was like a foolish person for the examiner. She was Australian and her accent was very difficult to know all the words. I just tried to guess many of questions. To be honest with you every hour I think worst that the past time. I should confess something funny: Before going there I drank a RedBull to have enough energy to speaking but my energy was exploding.

What do you think? Do you think if someone does bad about you he/she will gets his/her reaction from other people or life? I believe that; I have seen this many times and I wish for someone the worst things even in 50 years later. I hope to hear and see the worst things for that person. AMEN!

I have attended a speaking class since Wednesday. This class is private and I go to teacher's home. He is good teacher I think. These classes are very expensive but I think I would be able to pass the speaking section well by these.
Yesterday when I went his home I found that the home is not quiet for learning. Because yesterday was holiday and his wife and his baby were at home.
I thought this: "ok, no problem. I should concentrate on class."
But his wife was speaking loudly with their child.
Although it wasn't good for me, I really enjoyed that.
They are Iranian but all the time the mother was speaking in English with her. She was about 1 year old and couldn't speak but all the time she was hearing English words and was trying to say them.
One time she started to cry and my teacher went out of class to know the cause of crying. He started to speak in English with his child like this: "Don't cry honey, it's no problem, did you want to standing, just try and no cry and something like this"
Gosh, I didn't know that some people like him and his wife are living in my country.
I think they are great.
They know about their feature and also know why they have child and what should thay do to upbringing her.
I think if my parents thought like this I haven't had these problems with the international language.
This is not fair.
I am sure that most people in my country have children without any program for them.
They just want children.
I believe that this is like murder.

I know this title is weird, but let me explain.
Yesterday about 10.30 in the morning my cell phone rang. I saw the number on my cell phone it was like my number, just the last digit. It was amazing for me. At a glimpse I thought that I am calling myself, but the last digit was different.
I took it; he/she didn't say any thing. I knew that it is like a game.
About 2 hours later I sent a message and wrote this:
"Do you have any problem with my number?"
Just in 2 minute later she answered me no, never. I am sympathetic friend with you and I don't have problem with your number. What's your name?
God! It was funny and exciting for me.
We started to send S.M.S to each other.
One of my friends called me and said that how are you doing? I was excited about that subject, and started to tell him about that story.
My friend said: "Well, It's that gift you have wanted. God has sent it to you, congratulation"
I thought that it is vicious plan and they want to play a funny game with me.
I didn't have any idea. Should I answer or not! It was weird, but I liked that game.
I had an appointment; suddenly I decided to cancel it and go to a restaurant and did it.
After that I went to a park. I had many books for study (unfortunately have those now) but I was not in good mood for study I wanted to have relax time without think about study, English, future.
When I was coming back my phone started calling. God, it's that gift. I took the call.
Again it wasn't any voice. It was just silence.
I sent another S.M.S, it was this:
"I'm really thinking you have a problem with me. What the meaning of that call? Why you didn't talk? Are you scaring to speak with me?"
My cell phone rang and we started to speak and laugh.
Now, I have a new friend but she is not whom I have wanted like a gift.
What do you think? Is she whom? Of course she is not.
So, I think God is tied up, he doesn't have time to read all the email he is just skimming.

Dear Hamed,
Do you know my brother's name is Hamed? This is nice coincidence I think.
But I am writing just to thank you about your comments, indeed your useful, nice, benevolent comments and of course thank about that you read my web log.
I have given this address to few friends that I am really sure about that they don't tease me and now I think you are one of them and you can help me to learn English more.
Your comments give me positive energy.
Best regards,

Yesterday I was reading a funny email from one of my friends, suddenly one email sent to me. What do you guess about that? It was from IDPA. They invited me to have an interview on next Monday.
God, my hands started to be cold, my legs were numb.
I started to think:
"Can I get good score?"
"Why it is in this time?"
"I am not lucky, because many people can take this part 1 week after their written exam."
However, I started calling some friends of mine and asked them about their situation in the exam and their feelings, their answers, the interviewer and every thing that was in my mind.
One of my friends who is very positive person gave me calm just by some sentences. It was useful for me. To be honest with you when the conversation was finished I watched 3 episodes of friends.
(I have discovered that when I am watching this series I don't think about any thing. I can have fun time without any anxiety. This is like miracle for me, because all the time I am thinking and my mind is busy with all the events around me, now, past and even future.)
GOD, please give me a native English person as a gift just for this week.
Thank you in advance and I look forward to receiving your gift as soon as possible.

I don't know how to say that I really need to be praised by someone.
My parents give me good self confidence. They believe that I am intelligent and tell this many time in different ways, but they are not near me these days. I missed them very much.
It's really vital for me, indeed I need this.
I think if I have graduated in software engineering and if I could pass all my exams and competitions well, it was just I had great self confidence that my parents and my family had given me.
When I decided to go a volleyball team they encouraged me and I could be good at the team and always I was brilliant. All the coaches liked me.
I don't know why I am in disaster status.
When I see my friends and their self confidence I really mourn for myself. They don't have any thing in compare with me, they are not beautiful, they don't have any sense of humor, they are not social people and if I was a boy I would ignore them forever.
But they have self confidence, I know the reason. Just because one person is beside them like my parents and because of this, my friends are great person now. Of course not for me or many boys, but they believe themselves.
I need a friend like them. One real friend is enough for me forever. I need some one to tell me some thing nice about my abilities, my beauty, my taste on the things, my talent, my energy, my ingenious, my open mind and all the things that I have forgotten them.
I know if I have positive thought about myself I will be great person like the past.
Undoubtedly if I continue this manner I will be died as soon as possible.

Oh, God!
Today is Saturday and I am here at office after 3 days off. I don't like this job and this environment.
They don't know any thing about humanity and person's needs. I don't know why I endure this status, I like to pass my exam well and after that quit my job.
This is ridiculous. If I don't like this job and this status I can quit now and it doesn't matter if I will pass my exam well or not. I know but to be honest with you I am promising myself nice things just on one condition: pass my exam well.
Please don't tease me, it's my future. But I don't know why I don't study well these days. For example all these 3 days I was at home and didn't go out and all the time I was watching the "FREINDS" or drinking or sleeping or laying.
Last night when I finished watching my favorite series (all 3 seasons) I was angry with my morality in these days, I had wasted all of my time. If I do in this way I shouldn't anticipate get good score. I don't know why this series is appealing me. I really love that, especially "Ross" and "Fib". But I think I am really close to Monica, some times my face, manner, idea and reaction. I like all the characters.
Oh, God! Help me please.
Help me to watch this series and learn English through watching to release from this torment (My Exam).